A Thorn in My Side

 All relationships require a level of respect and understanding. All communicators require some form of open-end collaboration. 

Today I received some news.  And in order for me to process it with “positivety ” I must admit to myself that I’m prepared to move forward and release what was initially “disturbing me” so often we bury the burdens of our lives which may have occurred through a duration of time stemming from relationships that involve parents, siblings, friends or associates, so we never disclose the information that haunts us in reaching our final destination.   

In the biblical readings it read Paul struggled with “A Thorn in his side” and prayed for relief to God three times. And Jesus did the same three times for removal of the spiritual Thorn in Paul’s life. Corinthians:

A “thorn in my side” is not always a hardship allocated to one type of person. A thorn in my side is events occurring in one moment or choices made over time.

A Thorn in My Side resurfaces from a realm of spiritual disobedience. Not just what people say is a string of back luck, rare illnesses or physical infirmities that even scholars have yet to find a resolution.  Have you ever attempted to make a person happy? Only to find out what this person desperately seeks is not meant to be within their are your reach reach? And what I mean is someone who has already committed themselves to something or someone, or maybe this someone has no plan of involving themselves. Where someone else may struggle with a cycle of disobedience and rebellion in their marriages, small or grown up kids, sometimes that spiritual thorn that aches could stem from one to a majority of places. For instance if you have been blessed with gifts but ration those gifts to whoever will take them in return for what you desire to have of them. Because love has no price any man can pay, or neither does respect that’s has to be earned on any given day.

    One day while working in a professional atmosphere out of the blue a distinguished gentleman mentioned to me; how his “marriages” did not work out the third time around. I giggled and replied “maybe it was you who did not take enough time in between time to figure out why. 

      

      I knew a woman in my life that searched for a man to make her, his wife. In the beginning this man was a dream come true. There was not anything that he would not do, to make this woman’s dream come true. They traveled and had son a son to carry his last name. Then one day Satan came in and to her surprise this dream man would affect her and that child's life. They struggled to find good people in their lives. They dealt with unstable relationships. They labored faithfully; sometimes they were just happy to share everything. Is when people "drained that open door of opportunity" as people mocked their infirmities, eventually this woman made her bed and left everything behind to save herself & those beautiful kids, and married a good man who prayed for a family to love him in return. The story ends like this prior to her new marriage this man stalked this family for years even after he was remarried. The one child suffered over years to understand his daddy as the other child over years struggled to sleep through the nightmares. Until God said it's time to let go and live. 

  

    The storms will rage in our lives. No matter what race you are in this life where laughter inspires us to live until we die. Is why I give all praises and honor to the head of my life. The one who made the ultimate sacrifice and commanded my wrongs to right, and spoke to my enemies who plotted on me throughout the night making me more grateful to have taken the time to appreciate my grandmother’s prayers in my life, my mother for staying strong and believing in her children in every storm, and my aunts strong will to see I turn out to be the best I can be. Oh, did I not mention the father figure in my life who shared with me his war stories, the rules of engagement and how a gentleman should treat a lady who 'requires' it.

There is another question that Humanity leaves unanswered. Why do the good suffer with the bad, knowing the truth is Humanity has no idea of God's real purpose and 1 plan, for mankinf will have to work, pray and remain steadfast.  

A Woman’s Worth

A woman's creation is one of the most precious gifts, God could have invented.

This woman God made desires to nurture in everything she does; she seeks any and every opportunity to for fill a request or need.

This woman is submissive under the direction of proper control. This woman flips many hats. She can multi task; a mother, motivator, creator, educator, visionary, partner, best friend, leader in whatever she commits to. And some women demand requirements be met and certain expectations must also be accommodated. 

This woman is a nurturer from her hands to her breast, this woman is temperamental under are in any situation.

This woman is quick to give, and some are slow to take. This woman accounts for the choices she has made.

This woman can at times be the hunter instead of prey. This woman is strong from her head down to her precious feet.

This woman will follow direction, but some may take the lead if you’re not attentive.

This woman is not weak. But sometimes in life some women take a journey on the dark side.

This woman has an inquisitive intuition, but sometimes her desire to love and need for compassion, offsets the opposites in negative and positive attractions.

This woman was blessed with precious jewels in between her legs and diamonds inside her head and surrounding all her physical attributes. But so often her treasures are abused, misused or not paid any attention to. Why, because people tend to satisfy other purposes that are worthless in her life.

This woman has a golden hand and brilliant brain to think with. But sometimes she is impatient, vulnerable are manipulated. Into thinking people deserve it.

“Debt” or “Resolutions”

I hope no one takes this passage in the wrong context. But the reality is someone will get sensitive. Which means I have your undivided attention. 

Why do people drive without a driver’s license when we all know the rules and consequences? Of course things financially happen in our lives, but that’s not always the excuse to why people continue to drive. And know there is a possibility of doing jail time.

Why do people purchase items beyond their means? Of course we understand that credit is just a promise to pay for items we can’t satisfy with real money to cover emergencies in our lives. And although some people don’t suffer for cash then why allow your bills to accumulate for over 45 to 90 days to pay.

Why do people obtain other folks misery?  I’m not talking about helping out. I’m making a point of this; if rent is a struggle for you to pay month to month, check to check. Then why not live with family. And if family does not wish to alleviate the stress, maybe it is time to invest, because people are expecting to be accommodated. 

Why do people avoid filing income taxes are use other folk’s kids. And this is for the middle class and the rich. Because the IRS will not wait to see what you are willing to give, verses what they plan to take on any given day.

Why do people value stuff and not looking into what will rust? Land is a hot commodity and pennies, nickel, quarters and dimes will add up over time. 

Why do people insist to deal with illegal drug use and distribution of pharmaceuticals? Are have you not heard “Doctors” are now concerned to why numerous amounts of youth are being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, not limited to their throats. But someone has a testimony “that there is one drug that has cured what they can no longer endure” of watching the pain eat their children away”. While some of us lack to have a pension, 401 k or savings plan. Not limited to any race, culture or age in this land.

I know time is not in our control. But if you're always running late then what is prioritized for you to do? 

I know people have to do whatever it is they do, to survive. But people jail time is not saving or enriching nobody’s life, are have you not heard the statistics of growth & survival rate in a 6”8 cell space.

And if you’re not concerned with the consequences we bring into our selves, if you’re no longer concerned about how we can survive. And if you think money will cure what is still alive then maybe people will change their actions in doing things. To make you appreciate what you are holding onto “TODAY”. 

Heaven

                                                             

How close are we to heaven today? And who thinks they are near completing the price that has already be paid.  And if we look into ourselves today, some of us can see what we refuse to change, some of us think we are fine on someone else's prayers, some us are religious, some of us think we’re going to make it to heaven on status and money. And hell the rest just don't care. 

Is there a possibility that God could be impressed with what has been called into Gods existence here on earth?

Did man create ideas and intuition? Did man create our physical movements?

Did man create a woman’s womb? Did man create a man's testicals?  

Did man tell the wind to blow? Did man make it rain, sleet and snow? 

Did man hang the stars in the sky? Did man turn the day into night?

Did man adjust the seasons? Did man endorse time?

Did man breathe life? Did man control the mudslides and tsunamis from taking place?

Did man create the day’s and hour’s we may harvest and rest?

Did books write themselves? Then how did religion become the issue around the world. If man did not have stories to tell?  

Then why does God deserve man’s disobedience and impatience?

And if some of us believe there is no purpose to serve God.  No compassion to acknowledge God. No interest in knowing God. Then proceed in believing in man, just make sure you clearly understand his creations, intentions and directions.

The Error In My Ways

I must say “how change made me see” the error in my ways. And because I notice it in myself, I can embrace the reciprocation moving towards my transformation. 

My story began as a child. And before we start let’s get this story clear. I was raised by a single mom a portion of my entire life. My family has always been religious which kept me grounded during the hell I experienced, my guardian’s implemented respect and strict rules that had to be obliged, no matter how people or disrespectful and rude. Just don’t allow them to run over you. So I knew in my childish heart that one day I would deal with people who would attempt, with access, to destroy my groomed spirit. And on that day my real journey took place. 

As a child I did childish things. I had my moment of rebelliousness. I had my moment of questionable situations. I had a moment to think about how my choices in people and things. And how the two were no longer working out for me, then one day I decided to change my circle of friends, and set my family straight on how we must always communicate in a mild mannered way, because overtime all people tend to get out of line.

As a young girl I had endowed special gifts that were not like others. So I was judged for it. I was always seeking new ways to encourage someone along the way. I was always taking from my plate to share with others who portrayed they had more than me in society. I was always the person who knew struggling was not healthy but destined if we were not to change our boxed thinking. I've been associated with people who think they are out of one another’s league, but there inner desires would lead them too what they say “I will never do or say”. I was always the person to share my last, even when I knew you would never return the favor to me, what I have sacrificed for you. I was always the person who made mature decisions in my personal relationships, and lord help us all in our appreciated, or simple and selfish ways.  I was that friend who you could call but after a while the request became overwhelming with foolishness. I was always inspiring prayer, even when I knew you were to weak too believe. I was the person who would listen to repetition, and overtime people caught onto how the advice I was sharing was overwhelming. Because they were not looking for change, they were looking for a fool to keep jumping through loops. 

The entirety of Angel L’s stories is based on real testimonials, our true actions and our deceitful intentions. So the reasoning to why I share truth. Is because I lived it or experienced it, witnessed it or heard it from someone else and that is why I’m balanced and confident with sharing with you about myself.

I assisted a young girl with book sense but lacked the real world of knowledge. So I went into her space and offered my help & advice. This young girl’s attitude was clear that I was only needed to satisfy her one mission for that moment in time. But what I did share is people will waste your time, if you’re not mindful to appreciate other people’s time. And although book sense is great, having common sense will take you along way. Have a great day.

I called a friend but again there was a missed call. So finally we talked. And this friend made me aware of all her plans but what was the real intention in her reasoning to not answer both the missed calls. So I said maybe you did not recognize the caller responding back to you. Immediately there was a smart remark. And keep in mind this was not on her but my talk time.  

I flew up to see an old friend who coordinated the message related. And again I could hear the alarms ringing loud and clear. So I jumped on a plane. And yes I did it again! Months later this friend was in a better situation. So the stories stopped and so did the line drop.

I saw a family member in distress, but not in a new situation. And yes I was fed information, but my advice not money was rejected.  So now I’m the pet detective. 

I was in a courtship for years with a man. We both made choices. But somehow our ways were judged one way. And what I learned is how to possess some standards and expectations. So don’t let any and every one ruin your reputation.  

So we can clearly see; how people change, remain the same, judge one another for how we treat each other doing the same things, and the choices we make do cause things to spiral each and every way.

What I did not know was “with any gift, there will be burdens” and my reasoning to why I share these truths is to intervene in situations, where man will lie through manipulation, without hesitation.  

“CONSCIOUS”

                                                 

It’s one thing to know what needs to be done. It’s another thing to not initiate the change.

It’s one thing to plan for the moment. It’s another thing to wait on being invited into it.

It’s one thing to know people identify your low-esteem. It’s just insane you refuse to change.

It’s one thing to work in repetition. It’s a damn shame you still expect change.

It’s a choice to not believe in religion or prayer. It’s preposterous to think that God will work through how people think God should answer that  prayer, immediately. Top of Form

It's amazing sex accounts for fifty percent of any relationship. It's out of orbit to think people bypass communication for ass in any class, of relationships. 

Bottom of Form

It’s sad to see how people are so disrespectful and ungrateful. It’s foolishness to assume they deserve attention.

It’s one thing to advertise I got a beau or husband. It’s unhealthy to know how people share what they don’t have a handle on “control”.

It’s amazing to see how society mimics ghetto characteristics. It’s confusing and conflicting to not think and see the contribution to our children and families. Who can’t seem to not progress in poverty thinking.  

It’s a blessing to be financially blessed. It’s draining to think people have too much access. To any one of age and everything that destroys change.

It’s sexy to be acquainted with power & control. It’s devastating to know who you become. 

It’s miraculous to witness a miracle or triumph. It’s heart felt to witness people who had no clue on what to do and stranger to see how people act once the final results are completed.

It’s sad to hear someone has died. It’s weird to see how people treat one another while they are alive.

  

It’s alarming to hear wars have continued on for ages, everywhere. It’s draining to think that war is something people create. And don't care who they cremate.

It’s amazing how all of humanity has a conscious. It’s draw drenching how we utilize it. 

Sobriety

The word Sobriety means the “state of being sober” is what we’ve been taught. But what  would happen if we were to broaden our minds out of that small box? To a different concept in space with time and see that “Sobriety” has more than one meaning defining several human emotional feelings. And yes, today is that day Angel L is writing from a deeper place. Where peace, joy, sorrow and pain agree to disagree on who will defeat.  

There comes a time in every human beings life where substitutions for people contribute to enhance or devalue you is what denial will take you through.

There comes a time in our lives where we “Substitute” people to settle with what we choose not to deal with, in our own heads. So when someone says I’m at a better place in my “Sobriety” it simply means; they have found a focus in their lives with a leveled head space to conquer what has kept them down and blue in things and people they struggle to remove.

Life has a meticulous way of showing people how we really are the same. Where people think they have cheated Sobriety, in every culture, race and age.

EPISODES

One incorrect ingredient to any type of relationship, could have years of an effect on how an individual person will react, to all circumstances. Somewhat to age where we call it “set in our ways” and what that means is we’re “resistant” to change even if it “requires”  change.

One thing I have learned in this life is “never say never” when it comes to change. Because you will never know what is destined to move you in “how you think and what you will have to adjust too.  

It’s imperative we are associated with things that are conducive in our lives. And not just some of the time or with people we invest our lives; family, business acquaintances, new and old friends. It’s imperative we mold these relationships so that boundaries are not crossed, and people understand where they cannot “run” but “walk”. It’s crucial we “respect” and “communicate” with one another in a civil way so that we are not “misunderstood” in what we are attempting to say. It’s logical we grasp a hold onto how we feel about ourselves. In order to avoid breaking “one another’s heart” and arrogantly proceeding as if we’re “repairing someone else”.   

It’s not funny to watch people struggle in the same areas of life. But swear it’s not me. And at some point in your life who really has control, of what you continue to do, that has a strong hold on you. It is imperative we forgive. It did not say we were obligated to entertaining it.

It is imperative we understand how “excuses are not always a pass to justify” this is what my family did to me in my life. Remember as a child you did certain things, but when you became that adult it required change.  

This may not apply to all generations of the masses. But we are not really separated by what man say is the classes of society. And the reason is clear to see. That on any given day we are either “receptive or reluctant” to change.

If any man mocks another person's infirmities remember payback is necessary. It takes one person to brainstorm a foolish plan, and an army to implement it. So the real episodes that occur in our daily lives stems from whatever you or people think; is required of your patience for nothing but satisfaction.

Birthday

I celebrated another year on yesterday. Woke up feeling great with my mother standing over me, to wish me “Happy Birthday” and within seconds got a call from the man I raised from a boy, who was inches away, that “surprised me with “I love you mom, Happy Birthday”. So immediately I took this opportunity to grab the family on one accord in unity. As we prayed to God, too keep this family strong and in love for years to come. And no this was not a resolution to an immediate repair, just my B-day option because I still care. Above all the gifts and phone calls knowing that I really have it all. So I guess that’s why living life matured me for not thinking twice in areas of my life. Where people judged my time,  and for some they did not value of theirs, what I have in mine.

On March 13, 2016 I celebrated another milestone in my life. But instead of planning and waiting on who was thinking about me. I chose to give praise unto  God for the little things. 

I thank you lord for my inner peace, inner joy and my desire to sacrifice in this place of my life. 

I thank you lord for my aches and pains and sometimes for no reasons on any given day.

I thank you lord for change in my youth & immature ways, is when you did not turn me away.

I thank you lord for giving me patience in my heartbreaks. I thank you lord for my disappointments and what seemed like at times "no breaks" is why I pray, and move forward anyway. 

I thank God for those impatient friends who chose to surrender patience for not having enough of understanding, about the plans I knew you had for me. 

I thank you lord for this gift to "write" The Days Of Our Lives". 

I thank you lord for my single life, until you decided he was fit for 'our lives'. And most of all thank you lord for the greatest birthday gift only a God would give in these questionable times, we live. 

Thank you for the fruits I bear; a mother who lives, my siblings I dearly love, even though I give tough love. And the gift of life, knowing that we only live once and die twice. 

Investment Planning

Today's topic is how the influence of “people and money” motivates or interrupts how we exist in our environments. And yes the Angel L passages are intended to accommodate all races and ages in the masses. Which means you’re not required to produce a college degree, admit to your insecurities, have money influence or speak a higher “caliber” of talking money consciousness? In the unraveling world we live in.

Humanity can safely say; money does have an effect on how people live and manage it. And even when some of us worship and pray there is a request, involving money. But if used in deceptive ways it could change any face, in humanity. So no matter what career choices you will make; be prepared to move forward in your selected responsibilities. No matter what our past holds; take a stand and close that old chained door.

We've all heard it before. The Haves' and Have Not's from across the globe. The Advantage and Disadvantaged all throughout history even in biblical readings. The Rich and Poor will remain on any given day. The "Conservatives" verses "Liberal beliefs" and whether you should run to the polls or settle for what you are sold, please proceed in voting accordingly. So that the next generation of any colored race will not struggle to survive and preserve their beautiful minds. 

Please listen closely to what is about to be shared and not what you select to hear. Observe what is happening before your eyes not what is advertised. Stay tuned in and be prepared to move on what is progressing in altered and uncontrolled moods. Keep watch on the clock even when the hands "stop". Groom your children's minds and prepare a plan to move in more than one direction in whatever situation. Why, because of man's cruel intentions and lack of compassion. 

We all know there are major bills that reduce our paycheck. Prior to us receiving them, but only you can manage them. We all know if were capable of carrying more than one load so be careful of financially, neglecting your own responsibilities.

We all need health care where Medicaid and Medicare is not a supplement to accommodate what some people can't pay, and high deductibles of health insurance.

We all know a cost of living spike means fewer than 3 percent salary increase to accommodate families, economically. So before that extra money is spent remember today's topic "Investment Planning" and your idea in this topic. Then you will find the truth of the matter is; there are no real sorcerers, prophets or God's on this earth. Just people who are driven into false teachings, story tellers and leaders created to direct you. Into a place in which you will decide on a route to take, left or right. 

No matter what love interest or business choices you will invest in just be more prepared to move forward. No matter what our past holds; make a final decision to lock that chained door. So today ponder with this if "money is the tool "we need to survive or seek of power to possess. Then who are the people behind what money controls? If Religion is what we choose are to challenge out of it. Then who are the strangers delivering the gospel of deliverance? And if some people in relationships are the distraction. Then who is really responsible for dealing with it?   

Your gift is something so unique to limit it would be  a hypocrisy.

Starting Over

Every now and then that old saying “whatever is meant to be, will be” comes to a reality. And no one knows when, it just happens. So when that person comes or opportunity calls out of the blue just remember to focus on “this is where I am now, this is where we have another chance to become one. And let’s not focus on where you have been or why things did not work out, from that past relationship.   

I truly feel that the understanding of love sometimes is overrated. Why, because we should utilize more our time to figure out what is going in us, that may tarnish things from working out with someone else.

Every person in the world will deal with “times” that require transitions. But not every person will adjust accordingly. In accepting what they refuse to believe “change is something we desperately need”.

I truly feel sometimes that a delay is not always a denial. And the reason why is there are times when we’re not fully prepared to handle opportunities that require our immediate attention and commitment.

So how do you feel regarding a life filled with possibilities, and how will you stand in the rain through hard times until the sun shines? Because I truly believe that storms come in our lives to see how long we will stand or find shelter to survive.