I Am What You Feel Inside

I have the deepest endeavors of infinity that lives inside of Humanity. And if allowed time, peace and rest we can live to make a difference.

I cross my heart hope to die;

I am the life that beats inside. I am love that burns with desire and empathy. I am sometimes shared and compromised with feelings people hide. I have been the recipient of a killer’s pain. I have pleasured lust and betrayed of trust. I have nurtured life. I have lost a child and died inside. I have searched for answers my entire life, from the inside. I have been hopeless in famine and wars. I have been scorned. 

I have felt compassion for the poor. I have desired to retire. I have surrendered to neglect in all sizes. I have been transplanted in critical circumstances. I have been sold under man’s torture and submissive control.  I have wept for years to death. I am a rhythm that beats in every movement, throughout the History of Humanity. 

I Am What You Feel Inside. I will not always align with the mind. I am your lifeline that will never hide any emotion that grows inside. I am your heart until death demands we depart. And for my non believers it will be "ok", eventually time will change your minds. 

Thank you all for supporting me in reading my blogged rough drafts. And always remember this; God has handled all observed issues, prays and doubted situations.  

-Angel L

“Life’s Formation”

Humanity is one formation of humans streaming in motion. And their attitudes that progress stems from emotional distress or chemical balance.

Identifying a “child’s” behavioral progression or watching “adults transform in dimensions” not limited to any culture, age or demographics in society. Just monitor how humanity adapts to accountability and responsibilities, love, fear and rage with enduring age, around the world globally. And to think for generations man attempted to "dismantle the mind" to "reassemble in time" who would later continue to choose ", which is good or bad". In a non-man made creation. Simply to satisfy and justify his or her desire to control, human life.  

Eventually people grew into their own society and minds of well- being. Therefore dealing with their truths combined as one but in different forms.  Because time was never to be bargained with; it just allowed humanity to reside in it. Where men and women of all ages cherished, idolized or became bitter in their own lives.

Humanity was created in the image of beauty. Not the clay to all men of master’s hands. Humanity was created to replenish the earth, not for man’s self- preserved and idol minded purpose. Eventually in time men of all nations were destined to endure the harvest of good or bad seeds planted behind "open" and "closed" doors. 

Humanity was created in the formation of an occupation in every family to ensure there would be ages of legacies. Depending on what you will breed to lead of your preservation of seeds.  

This Blog was created to share all cultures and religious stories around the world. Through human existence and how we move with time in motion. And of humanity will always figure out what will influence their purpose to live with or without a story that remains on a shelf. 

This blog was written with observation not bias discrimination towards any religious belief, sexual gender or cultural gender. But there is “Balm in Gilead” and what must respect it.

Things To Remember

Humanity often needs a reminder, to do list, reality check or a wake call. Regardless if we pay attention, ignore it or appreciate the time we have to initiate a difference.  Some people are social butterflies, some people are intimidated unless there is drama in their lives, and some people prefer to closet mind themselves, where other people just love life itself.

The universe belongs to all mankind. We simply have found so many ways to neglect it by not appreciating one another in it. A thief does not lose sleep at night. But a true friend, stranger, love or acquaintance can respect or will sincerely understand your struggles or sacrifice to exist in this life. So therefore not everyone has your best interest, before they take from you what was already going to be portioned of you. 

So today whoever you choose to be enlighten yourself to all these possibilities Because the moment you question who you are, is the moment you lose yourself into what other people are.

Spend more quality time to evaluate and learn whom and where we place our trust, values, loyalty and issues in.  Regardless of what the environment is.

Spend casual time with a friend or acquaintance that seems to not be non-bios. When listening to you share your dreams and aspirations. Then process whether or not their vibe is original or not.  

Spend more time understanding “how, why, who and when” in our filtering cycles with different people. Will be willing to give you their all, but we will never know; until we change the arms that we continue to “run” back and forth too.  So stop limiting yourself to sleeping, entertaining and engaging with people who are convenient to deal with the obvious, your resistance to change of your broken ways.  

Spend more time consuming your vision to embark on new adventures, although laboring for corporate and investors is great, but  plant your feet in the direction to  "Always Be Closing". Don't limit your ability to walk into a different opportunity. Unfortunately this may not work out for everybody.

Spend more time to identify with yourself about the difference between Quickies, Love, and Ecstasy. And either of these does exist, in places and with people who will take whatever you feel vulnerable in giving. So be more patient in learning how to control what feels “one minute Hot and another minute COLD”.  

Spend more time identifying why and whose “Status” is not meant to be kept up with. It’s often gained, but “not always” respected.

Spend less time thinking are wondering why people finally get engaged or been married. It’s not rare people figure it out. People keep trying to figure it out, or why some people just settle down; with whom they can convince in accepting them.

Remember daydreams will take you miles way. But you’re living in a reality.

Remember in obtaining your wants. Is always easier than sacrificing for what you will need.

There are different classes of people that make up the “divided’ masses. There are people looking for something even when they have someone, there are lonely hearts seeking love despite bearing children to love, there is selfishness and jealousy that brews in a world of people who are consistently, seeking

A Man's Worth

A work of art we desire to shape and mold. A structure with untouched boundaries left to be nurtured if not released. A contrasted face filled with features of timeless definition. A body postured beyond what people identify, of his unique detail in every area we miss with the naked eye.

This man does not come with a manual. This man does seek direction, but you must be prepared to follow if not lead which in some relationships bare great “grief”.

This man has buried if not lost fantasies, he is like a written melody that has been written about, talked about and labeled how he would contribute to life. But his interested eyes struggle to identify with “why and who” his desires request where all men of color; move in motion to serve more than one purpose. 

This man will never be perfected here on earth not even for his own purpose. This man also shields covered wounds from birth. This man must be prepared to be mature in his identifying his wants, and willing to sacrifice for his needs in order to grasp his individual purpose.

The man is a master at his own game, until he meets his challenge of an opposite mate. This man has an ego of many faces that requires to be stroked. This man is made of melodies that you must listen closely to hear; in order to stay or leave, when his direction does not sound clear with a purpose.

This man God made desires to be reminded he is often loved, honored and respected in any if not all predicaments and situations. This man was built to stand the storms of life, but often he will need some prayer, advice, encouragement and direction by whom is meant to stand by his stand. Which means you must be equally yoked and respected in order to stay afloat.

Not every woman or girl is going to be treated like the main woman in this man’s life. Remember how this man does not lack in comprehending, he seeks to be understood. So be prepared to deal with the good or bad where some men are not always prepared to accept but reject what they want in place of what they really need.

Also read "Merry-Go-Round"

A Woman & 2 Men

I can remember the first time I fell in 

lust as a young girl. I’m still embracing the second time as a woman of how we both fell in love. And although these emotions where years apart. There will always be that one person who sincerely loves or loved your heart. After another person tears it apart.

I remember our first kiss on the dock. Then I later recalled my second flight, dinner and candle lights. With no sex involved.

I remember the first time we had sex. Then I later daydreamed about the man who laid next to me, as I slept to awake the next morning, where he was watching over me.   

I still remember yearning for your patience and tender touch. But then I remembered the other day who was actually calling my name, yearning for me to make another landing.

I can remember us talking about what you wanted not what we needed. Then one day someone shared with me their entire family.

I can remember you always were too busy to answer my calls unless you were anxiously, needing me to hold. Then one day out of the blue; another man taught me how and what he needed to hold onto.

Although this man shared with me the issues of his heart, he still managed to seek his wants. So God re-directed a plan that was out of my hands.  

I doubt that God would make a mistake in our lives. I think people have to travel down roads until they figure who, where and why. So I can live with the moment you never had time to believe and pray with me. Because one day a believer was wondering from a storm and grabbed my hand, to share with us what either one prayed to have, a beautiful beginning with no ending.

Waiting To Exhale

To all my viewers around the world this passage is dedicated to all ages of boys and girls who live on holy land, who search for riches in the desert sands, who dig for buried treasures in old tombs, who sacrifice their inheritance in exchange for people promises, and those who exist to live by chance or coincidence.  Sometimes we’re diligent in focusing on where we are instead of focusing on what can we change to move forward.  And if this does not grab your immediate attention then maybe you're still seeking to identify your own purpose.  

  

I embrace knowledge, criticism in measurements, cultural differences and communication. Or how else could people revolve in motion over a course of time that requires some form of direction, in every nation. And what I mean is we must open the barriers of our minds to process “how and why” we “hinder” to relate or disconnect. With people we love, not know or hate in any environment, filled with human emotions. 

In business or personal relationships they’re exist a full capacity of chiefs and insufficient Indians. Are maybe in a different atmosphere there is aggressive delegation with lack of planning, but high expectations with little or no communication. And it does not matter your combined years of people or work experience. Sometimes people with egos do run interference. So beware of why and how other people recognize those natural gifts that you struggle to identify with. 

Over time I have developed a better understanding of myself. I have discovered "how, why and when" “systems” and “people” progress in movement. I have mastered my own personality “naturally” so that I can hear, see, and feel, how and why we chose of either side”. And yes, it took years to mature my mind. And there are some days where I check myself to ensure I'm not volunteering my time to someone else". And eventually in time you will identify with how your behavioral patterns are easily navigated if you don't deal with your inner strengths, and weaknesses.  

I’ve been chastised about my religious beliefs. And so often I'm asked if God is sovereign then why do people suffer? My answer is "if people choose not to continue to be disobedient" and I'm not insinuating we should reach perfection. Then maybe God would take that opportunity and  turn things around so that we can EXHALE. 

It's unfortunate "pampers" were not invented for more than a limited fit. And what this means is "growth is destined to happen". So in your next move be wise, confident and accurate in your decision making. And in your next step towards change remember your commitment & consistency in who you are trying to become not entertaining situations and people who hinder you destination. Then process who is most likely to not rise with you so once the music instantly stops in your life, you are better prepared to continuing to dance, or wait for the music to start all over again.  

Brawls

It is one thing to teach our children to defend themselves in this chaotic world. It is another thing to witness adults that act out in informal ways in the presence of our maturing youth. Then question why “the violence is escalating in our lives”, where people are destined to fight if someone does not die.

In “Richmond Georgia a young man was stabbed” and later died. But it was not because EMS did not arrive in time.  Read the story to understand why. 

 There are mothers found dead in shallow places. There are young girls creeping in dangerous spaces. There are young men and dad’s found shot in the head. There is war where people seek peace and yet there is an increasing population where even more people are raising hell. Than initiating a positive impact in every state, country, race and community. So we ponder with how can we enforce people to change in it?  Well let’s start with our immature thinking and deal with how we should raise a new generation. There are many factors to why an escalation in any environment has to exist. And some readers may get pissed with this passage. But it’s no longer acceptable to express whatever we feel regardless if it takes place on social media, private lines or indirect conversations in or outside of our private or open lives. In this world we live in "brawls" escalate in real time, where human beings react in undomesticated attacks.    

 When any mother, father or the entire family loses a child of any age, race or religion there is rage. And many questions that are required to be answered. But not everyone has a soul of forgiveness and faith, so therefore people should embrace change, every second of the day because tomorrow is destined to come. Where it seems we have already proven to the world how we have not outgrown being boys and girls.

This is a wake-up call to all of humanity’s children big and small. There is no one to blame in what we reflect through our attitudes. And for every fight we initiate today just be prepared to dig two graves; one for sorrow and the other for pain. As a reminder of what we entertained of a brawl brought on with no respect of how we disrespect one another with conflict.    

The Path

A path is any direction a person of “human characteristics” or “creature of instinct” chooses to take. The only difference is there destinations may or never be the same.

In the memoirs written by Angel L there are stories of truth where lies tales. There are stories of “triumph” where “control” failed. There are skeletons in every human beings closet that is open or remains closed. There are races to run but not every living thing will manage to reach the finish line. Where real angels exist and devils roam in all forms of existence. 

There is silence where a threat controls release of violence. There is observation that monitors and leverages through generations. There are peace treaties that still remain at ease. There is friendships there are never meant to be broken. There are associations that will test; every thresh hold of your patience. And when this leak occurs in that relationship, trust there will be little or no negotiations to bargain with.  

There is still some good left in this world. And Angel L knows the truth. But it did take some quality time even for me to see; the real purpose in fighting through this life by visioning what remains to be seen, through the eyes of what is chosen or not chosen to see, of “notorious” diversions and “mild” mannered interactions, in all races of HUMANITY. 

There are several movements that are destined to challenge every realm of who you are and what you believe. So therefore time was created with a narrator in every story line. To guide you through time but it’s not on everyone’s side. So therefore one day we must be prepared to say our goodbyes. At the PATH where our worlds will divide, connect or collide.

Vacation

Whether you have or have not the ability to travel create a place of escape with the intentions of leaving the world behind for a moment in treasuring peaceful time.  Focus on enjoying the labor of your harvest and not on what tomorrow could bring, grasp this moment and focus on more fruitful things. Hug your love ones as tight as you can, eventually they will be torn from your hands. Enjoy the airway while it is still free soon the TSA will be unable to control the air space due to calamity coming its way.

Take long walks around the parks. Enjoy a bike ride with your spouse and kids. Thank god everyday for the educators who are enforcing the fight to end education growth is purely spite. Invest in a passport while there is time eventually everyone will be restricted to their own side. Consume healthy food you would have never tried, eventually it will be destroyed by pesticides. Don’t allow the financial torture to destroy your life, people your more precious than trying to contend with the worldly price. So why wait to plan another day, instead allow the sunshine to brush against your beautiful face. Eventually darkness will consume this entire place.

The news has advertised another claim of attack on Brussels. Although this is a huge concern please listen to what is said from whom you can't hear. It's seems there is war throughout the land. So still travel abroad and safely with travel.gov. Watch the crowds and movement in whatever state or country you are in. And just continue to enjoy the pleasures of life, while we can. 

A Thorn in My Side

 All relationships require a level of respect and understanding. All communicators require some form of open-end collaboration. 

Today I received some news.  And in order for me to process it with “positivety ” I must admit to myself that I’m prepared to move forward and release what was initially “disturbing me” so often we bury the burdens of our lives which may have occurred through a duration of time stemming from relationships that involve parents, siblings, friends or associates, so we never disclose the information that haunts us in reaching our final destination.   

In the biblical readings it read Paul struggled with “A Thorn in his side” and prayed for relief to God three times. And Jesus did the same three times for removal of the spiritual Thorn in Paul’s life. Corinthians:

A “thorn in my side” is not always a hardship allocated to one type of person. A thorn in my side is events occurring in one moment or choices made over time.

A Thorn in My Side resurfaces from a realm of spiritual disobedience. Not just what people say is a string of back luck, rare illnesses or physical infirmities that even scholars have yet to find a resolution.  Have you ever attempted to make a person happy? Only to find out what this person desperately seeks is not meant to be within their are your reach reach? And what I mean is someone who has already committed themselves to something or someone, or maybe this someone has no plan of involving themselves. Where someone else may struggle with a cycle of disobedience and rebellion in their marriages, small or grown up kids, sometimes that spiritual thorn that aches could stem from one to a majority of places. For instance if you have been blessed with gifts but ration those gifts to whoever will take them in return for what you desire to have of them. Because love has no price any man can pay, or neither does respect that’s has to be earned on any given day.

    One day while working in a professional atmosphere out of the blue a distinguished gentleman mentioned to me; how his “marriages” did not work out the third time around. I giggled and replied “maybe it was you who did not take enough time in between time to figure out why. 

      

      I knew a woman in my life that searched for a man to make her, his wife. In the beginning this man was a dream come true. There was not anything that he would not do, to make this woman’s dream come true. They traveled and had son a son to carry his last name. Then one day Satan came in and to her surprise this dream man would affect her and that child's life. They struggled to find good people in their lives. They dealt with unstable relationships. They labored faithfully; sometimes they were just happy to share everything. Is when people "drained that open door of opportunity" as people mocked their infirmities, eventually this woman made her bed and left everything behind to save herself & those beautiful kids, and married a good man who prayed for a family to love him in return. The story ends like this prior to her new marriage this man stalked this family for years even after he was remarried. The one child suffered over years to understand his daddy as the other child over years struggled to sleep through the nightmares. Until God said it's time to let go and live. 

  

    The storms will rage in our lives. No matter what race you are in this life where laughter inspires us to live until we die. Is why I give all praises and honor to the head of my life. The one who made the ultimate sacrifice and commanded my wrongs to right, and spoke to my enemies who plotted on me throughout the night making me more grateful to have taken the time to appreciate my grandmother’s prayers in my life, my mother for staying strong and believing in her children in every storm, and my aunts strong will to see I turn out to be the best I can be. Oh, did I not mention the father figure in my life who shared with me his war stories, the rules of engagement and how a gentleman should treat a lady who 'requires' it.

There is another question that Humanity leaves unanswered. Why do the good suffer with the bad, knowing the truth is Humanity has no idea of God's real purpose and 1 plan, for mankinf will have to work, pray and remain steadfast.  

A Woman’s Worth

A woman's creation is one of the most precious gifts, God could have invented.

This woman God made desires to nurture in everything she does; she seeks any and every opportunity to for fill a request or need.

This woman is submissive under the direction of proper control. This woman flips many hats. She can multi task; a mother, motivator, creator, educator, visionary, partner, best friend, leader in whatever she commits to. And some women demand requirements be met and certain expectations must also be accommodated. 

This woman is a nurturer from her hands to her breast, this woman is temperamental under are in any situation.

This woman is quick to give, and some are slow to take. This woman accounts for the choices she has made.

This woman can at times be the hunter instead of prey. This woman is strong from her head down to her precious feet.

This woman will follow direction, but some may take the lead if you’re not attentive.

This woman is not weak. But sometimes in life some women take a journey on the dark side.

This woman has an inquisitive intuition, but sometimes her desire to love and need for compassion, offsets the opposites in negative and positive attractions.

This woman was blessed with precious jewels in between her legs and diamonds inside her head and surrounding all her physical attributes. But so often her treasures are abused, misused or not paid any attention to. Why, because people tend to satisfy other purposes that are worthless in her life.

This woman has a golden hand and brilliant brain to think with. But sometimes she is impatient, vulnerable are manipulated. Into thinking people deserve it.