Blink

The heart commanded; that in every heart it be filled with some-type of emotion. The eyes desired to “see”; of both the ugly & beauty. The hands needed to “touch”; no matter who or what. The mouth held back the tongue until the ears had heard enough of listening. Is when the legs decided; to make a move to what the mind commanded of all too do.  

The greatest amount of tears hide behind the strongest of all men and woman. Who figure out themselves; once the tears fall down.

People come in and out of life with a purpose. People are every part of a moment, and until we question "Why", we will never understand what lesson was supposed to have been learned. 

While on vacation in Punta Cana we all watched, listened and heard. But not all of us are really prepared; to say goodbye until we learn to question “why”, did time allow "us" this moment in life?   

There are moments "we" still feel alone even with someone in a crowded room. Why alone? Because of what has not been spoken from the heart.

We don’t raised or even taught we have to fit in every picture framed moment. Forgetting to find our own individual purpose. While alive today leaving all of our souvenirs; of any kind behind because of tomorrow is not promised.      

-I met a Kimee who said they keep threatening to take away my job away. I shared with Kim a caucasion woman "what are the plans you made on yesterday? 

-I met a Prosper resident who said I date black men. I said in interest of our conversation. When do you stop texting and start to set boundaries and have a grown-up conversation?

-I met a woman and men who said if I had to do marriage again, or if this don't work out. I said what will you then do different, or find out that it may have been the change you needed to make in yourself, first?   

-I met several of sisters and brothers, couples & singles of origin residence & travelers from around the world who shared "what's happens stays right here". I smiled and said why live & wait or come across the world to do you and keep it a "secret"?

-I never experienced hate & prejudice indecencies. Until I learned whatever you have been bred in as a small child; you will reap as an adult "good or bad", life will show up the differences.  

-I use to focus on my imperfections. Until one day I grew up and checked-in with myself. As well as other people who never stop watching my growth & foot steps.   

-I attended a married couple’s event while across the table; sat one of their regrets of what I still have of a chance. I addressed in silence the glossy eyes were apparent. Is when the mouth opened with "I made this person aware of who I was before marrying them". If we ask God first, our weary minds could find rest with whom we choose to marry for a wife and husband.
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-I chatted with happy go singles; until time grew late and there was no one to settle down with at the end of the day...

One day we shut our eyes to rest, and before we could blink; Life appeared.  

Tally

At the end of a day “all” shall submit a life requested “Tally”, now allow “one self” the proper time in right now; to prioritize.

The seasons breathe both “Life & Death”; of prosperity, love, hurt & healing, joy & deliverance. So what is a surprising in every season that a Tally of life is will be required to respond in?

January starts for “ALL” a New Year; but why is it that not “All” will see it in, with cheer?

February is a month of recognition from one to another of “our deepest love”, but why does it take another 12 months to come around; for “Some” or “All” to feel more in love and show up to one reminder one another how special we really are; to each other?

March-April-May spring forth an array of flower with some showers to grow those babies forming in a mother’s womb, children who can rest their tired minds after those extensive school days, and for those special occasions that arise “some if not all” are getting “engaged”, with a  promise shared to expect a finalized wedding date. But where does the spark fly after all these uninterrupted moments; shift into disruption of another season?

June-September another year for “ALL” to plan for family reunions, cookouts, travel, relaxation and the simplicity in re-connecting with thy self in; mind, body and soul underneath the sunshine and moonlit nights with peace in mind. But what happens through the previous seasons “all if not some” lose that vision and inspiration.         

October-November bring out the warm hearts in these seasons of needing to feel “closer” to one or the other. And no one or all has to speak one word. We are either Grateful to be here or Processing through past & present seasons of “what we did, or not do”.

December is a month of “heightened alert”, because of “who believes or not in St. Nicholas and what do I buy him or her, if not what should I expect to receive or not in celebration of this new season. For there are a few who hate for their own personal reasons, while some will deal the loss of loved ones; who are no longer here to share cheer in the cold nights, watching of the bright lights and snowflakes “all” are tempted to lay & play like small children.

We’re not equipped to fix one another. We are equipped to fix in ourselves:

-To be due diligent in prioritizing our lives in every season,                  

-To seek of wisdom not always found in random quick fix answers.  

-To embark on the new & disregard the old; of worn down baggage more than often we justify to cling onto in 12 months of seasons.

-Communicate more frequently because it is required of "all", and silence more seasons of procrastination to justify giving up; where there is always a choice. 

Time has no alert to push “all of us” past what we want; into seasons of what is chosen to not fix in ourselves.

“Tally Up” the seasons are rapidly moving forward.

Finger Pointing

History has taught us as a people; How we repeated History.

In places people sound as if; they have IT; all figured out. In this Fantasy world we live in of the Real World; people act out.

Some not all of us are innocent & guilty of whether are not we ourselves have "Stop trusting in people that; continue to lie to us.

Or can we first admit to ourselves; how we also have not stopped the lying in what we know better. Because it has either been proven in a human act or communicated through; how people will play God to control over and in other people. Of what we don't have of control in, or over ourselves.

The use of this statement "people with low moral", has been
validated in today's society. To being the new social acceptance of behavior; in our public and private co-existence, in positions of authority, and favoritism  exposed in what is not equal in employment. And I'm not saying favor is fair. I'm saying people use leverage to justify their negative behaviors.

Therefore the assumption is a "confrontational person, must be established,  for justification of the person or people creating it". To blame it back on the"low moral mindset". Now the assumption creates a argument for the "response back, of the confrontation inflicted on the unaware person". Who has been treated a certain way & manipulated to not communicate. Now the classifications can be established to fit the assumption of why a "Low moral, mindset exist". Which is not a title in limitation for certain people. Low moral exist because of how people; are being treated by one another. Either in our private lives if not aggressively growing in our social environment, of all human behavioral interactions.

History has showed up in this New Society/Generation of people; of who we always were in the inside, if not becoming of what we are on the outside.

If our answers is finger pointing at ALL people who make up this  society of culture & human behavior. Why not figure out; why the stem of the problem is feeding  the "low moral of  ALL people", not the creation of another conversation justifying words using; assumptions, ideas, bitterness & opinions. But words in a real conversation regarding; truth & who is not included in the accountability of All behaviors, not limited to one or some class of people?

For ALL people harness their individual brokenness, and  "Where there is anger in ALL people, the pain will resurface". In a world of All people "low moral" in a society can exist.

Again people will ask who is not being addressed; of their accountability in it?

CEO

Accountability on one's self in a leadership position; of choices and executive decisions. Not mass opinions.

Today's reality is; in the things, people and places that are continuously growing; we are driven into choices, events and options of finding a more manageable way to feed a children growing at a rapid pace, paychecks bi-weekly fixed, and  land secured under new developments.

While at brunch, a millenial said to me ' May I take your order, and I like your style and thinking", this millenial expressed to me a business plan in 2 more years. I said great idea but never procrastinate in researching your business information. The conversation went on with 'I been talking to different people'. I replied be mindful that some people will share information. But not all people will share everything you need to hear. Therefore that 2 years could be lesser if you continue to ask and seek of more answers to new questions. We then shared a "wow,  moment". Smiled and knowing that a new question had been answered.

While processing the transition I'm in at this stage of my life; time keeps me aware of 3 things:

1. Accountability of myself.
2. Procrastination of waiting. And in 3. Fear of not knowing enables me. Of the end result that is real reality.

Choices have to be made. Boundaries must be set, and Time must be respected. Because we the CEO's

Creators

Examples, and

Opinions of whatever everyone will make of a statement regarding us; we will later  address of our own purpose and investments.

Spirits

The example we clarify of today when no one is watching; is the outcome we will not suffer in tomorrow of a storm coming.

If a positive person is not a negative passive aggressive person; then why can't you figure out how to relate to your own and leave other people alone?


If this world were only made up of people that look like one another in color. We would still come to terms with; our own internal race in conflict & confusions.

If we were in control of who would answer to what we summon of another to do; we would immediately figure out our own intentions really don't have a positive purpose.

If we had real issues with one another; we could figure out how to raise our own children. In explaining to them what we hate about ourselves; that causes the resentment we inflict upon someone else.

If we keep thinking in our confined ways who should survive or struggle to have access to work, vote, eat and read; we will figure out; why is it were not moving forward in what we demand of respect. But a step behind of what we keep losing of our own generations of sons and daughters in today & tomorrow.

2018

Not every person has the time to squeeze through doors that are held from behind. So here we stand and observe in intense; of wondering if in this race will man vs. man; finally end.

In life we joke about the silliest things, like a man can ask his wife permission to hunt; as we deal with blended relationships, domestic violence and divorce court settlements. Sexting is the new thing regardless of whom you come in contact with for hot second or until there is a victim. We joke about who don't smoke weed; but who does it affect when you can not get a paycheck for a felony on your record, and the person you love is on the streets selling their bodies, for free. We laugh and joke about the silliest things; as grown-ups do their thing. The children attempt to find a night of rest after a day of being bullied in class. Or maybe they will not return due to an unfortunate circumstances.  As Parents toss and turn to find a night of relief to face Monday mornings traffic rat race; because not everyone is working for a paycheck without a plan to live beyond it. Thank goodness for those grandparents who are amongst the living in their own independence. Of an era of fixed income; they plan to live longer lives to assist in raising their own grown children's; children in a new world. And if auntie & uncle continue to communicate in their own relationship; this blood line will not be interrupted with any side piece of extras. 

I ask questions to a;

Politician: In the upcoming Election if the candidates did not make a broad of promises; would the Voters come out and respond with a cause of  interest to stand in line? And if the promises were really intended for every race and creed of people; then why can't our leaders find a balance to the real numbered cast of ballots?

If the Laws of the Land were to be re-written to structure this era; what affect would it entail so that all people are equally punished for the same prejudices, granted a reasonable score to afford an interest rate according to what they are subject to of gross & net pay? Or would re-writing the Laws of The Land stir up "Balance that is forbidden"?

I ask a judge if they were to be judged themselves based on their private human behaviors; would they be held at the same level of accountability? And then who would be appointed to be their Judge & Jury?

I ask an elder man in his 70's who is working 40hrs. in this country. How could insurance and retirement change the condition of how you live? The elder man said to me "people are just staying to busy, to feel busy". And in today's economy we will work until we are all near death. But to answer your question young lady; the plan was never created to retire the working. 

I ask small children of all colors what is covering your tiny footprints. Of course they looked down and said my shoes and socks, and some even said my skin. I went further to ask "what do you want to be when you grown up". And of course they said to be like Mommy and Daddy or look like what I see on TV.

We all have our personal shares of life's inspirations & adversity. And more than half of the time
it will take everything in us to stay or either walk away. Because of a place of gravity; that is destined of what refuse of change in how we approach & process everything.

Peanut Butter & Jelly

Until pushed out of a scary place of anything or anyone or obstacle; you will not fight out of it; until the PB sticks in your life without the Jelly and bread.

“OH’ GOD please do not allow me to exist in a lesser place of mental thinking. Right now I’m calling it my year of “entrepreneur-prosperity”, for every seed that I’ve planted; to find favor & prosperity in my; vision, health, integrity, wisdom for every season in this life to past over, and forth coming.

You don’t have to understand it; you only have to plant your own seeds in “I Can”. So they won’t die in the fears of YOUR “I Can’t”

I can't because I'm to broken; and if that were so true then why do we all bend, break and more than often heal in the same human places?

I can’t do no better than my present situation.
I can't be strong as you; keep living & one day it will be a personal will to fight, for something in  your life.

I can’t live better; because I know how to struggle in the condition I survive.

I can't stand up to a bully; so stay prepared to bullied this entire life. They come in all sizes. 

I can’t be in a better relationship. Because of knowing with Betty the builder or  Bob the builder; I know what I should expect to get out of them.

I can’t get a better job; because I’m not experienced or educated enough to show them I can do it.

I ain't got it. And if God wants me to have it, him or her; I’ll wait on God while he continues to show me how and why people have limited amounts of patience or never come around. 
I can’t speak up for myself; they have more power over me to silence me. Then speak up to know for yourself; you also possess the power to survive in that silenced place.

I can’t meet the expectations of my family and friends; I am too weak to change the chains we drag hand over feet.

I can’t do it; I need it right now, my kids must have, he or she expects of me to give more than what I can’t afford.

I can’t change anything; because nothing will change when it’s comes down to people. So until we all do something different then will I follow a lead.

I can’t pray no more when life just gets harder every day; Wisdom is accepting people don’t come with instructions, Life did not come with warnings, and Time is so unpredictable it will almost never initiate 1 text message or 2 sec call; before it comes around interrupting our comfort zones.

Open Relationships

I keep starting out to end this Blog. But I still have yet to come to a finish line. Why, we as people are tempted by any juicy topic. And it does not matter from where the juice leaks of it. We're all into it.   

We campaign our flesh. We broadcast our eyeball conversations. We use our mouths to leak a hot conversation. Then we meet "select together", for pleasure to meet on one sheet of music. And after all the digging, diving & sweat we still search for more understanding in our own internal brokenness.

So let's dive straight in it; and see who get's there's out first. I referencing the reasoning of how it really works. And if we still find an intense need to further put a bigger dent in it. Oh, I'm referencing the open-relationships & open-marriages. And if you don't fit, don't get into it.

I mean really "who does not enjoy the mystery of participating in roll play, we actually set the stage and participants everyday". Whether lurring at someone far away or switching or staggering our hips with a hungry pain look in our eyes. The messages are not always subliminal of what we desire to sweat in the heated moments of our human flesh. So how do we meet on one set of sheets, and indulge in different heartbeats?

So why do people act as if this is something new that has not been hit or missed, written in books or seen in real action as we do it in normal mindsets. Unless you have not opened up your tight closet door. Eye opener skeletons wait in everyone's space; and it began over generations. I did not make this theory up. It's never been a secret from 0 to ages of 99, there has not been a single pair of any living legs that have not been spread apart greeted by hands and eyes of anticipation; after every climax. Oh yeah, I'm referencing our climaxed human emotions in escalated actions.

We either come together with an agreement to roll around on that one sheet. Are get up & walk away with the music we all felt in a heated moment of roll play. So I ask all of us; what are we really doing with in this life. During the darkest days of nights. With One plus each other. Or does anyone really have the level of knowledge to explain why we use our heads, eyes, mouth & hands. In acts we really never fix. In our human disappointments. Turned into regrets if not brokenness?

There will be tears while lying on broken down beds, there will anger in our spontaneous hearts, there will cold days and hot spots in the places we once open wide now shut. Oh, I forgot to ask what do we share or show our children who come next in another generation? Life is funny that way; it also holds the pages of what we leave of our marks of roll play.

The Point of It All

Does it really take a fool to learn why love does not love nobody? Or does it take our personal experiences to cope with our emotions; of how we allowed ourselves to love someone?

Tomorrow our emotions will resurface, no matter how safeguarded we are in shielding that beating heart. And what was the point of it all; if we never had one chance to figure out why and who we chose to LOVE.  

A young girl in her 30’s said to me. I’ve lived a live not knowing. Until one day I understood what my heart was missing. I love my kids and myself. But for a while I did not understand how people used love so freely with living in one another’s false fantasies.  And what she was saying was “time does not choose who we want, time will show us what we need with that someone”, even when a fool feels lost. Life still gives him or her; a second chance.

A young man in his latter 40”s said “I love my wife and family”. And yes, this is my 2^nd marriage. But after 20 years with her, I can see clearly how she does not love me anymore. I said my brother have you tried to show her why “the fight you are not winning is because she is not by your side”.

I spoke to a widow and her & he both said, either you miss the mate or either you become ok at that point in your life. Sometimes in contentment you miss out on your own journey to finding happiness. And sometimes you get lucky to find the mate who will stand-up by your side. And even in death; either way the lesson still lives with the living.

I spoke with the woman in my life; who taught me how to love myself first. I spoke with the men in my life who taught me how to see through what a man is not saying to you. I learned from my personal experience with a man I loved for 20 years, who walked away but returned to say "once a youth and always a man afterwards, thank you for loving me. Even when I did not show you enough love back. I replied thank you for respecting "who" I will continue to be. 

I spoke with people who say love is over-rated or it was suppose to last a life-time. But if we had no emotions how would we have known it takes a fool; to learn love don’t love nobody. To continue in learning why; we continue in working so hard at love to get it right. 

Box

The problem with placing our dreams & gifts is a box. Is when we figure out; how we struggle to get out.

To have low moral or self-esteem the perception is that we could possibly fit in a small box of not having the potential to get out. And just in case that box is tilted and opens up; the real perception is some of us will not come out.

The song writer said "I'm living my best life". It's  apparent by his words that a box of any size is not equipped to hold him back.

If you are stuck in a box, understand the feeling of being trapped in your own thoughts.

I been a career minded girl since the age 9. I did not place my vision in a box. Even in those moments I could feel myself trapped. I knew eventually I would climb out.

Today I realized no matter what I do or where I go. There will be boxes all around me filled with people who are trapped, and not prepared to come out.

Attitude

Wisdom; is powerful. Knowledge; increases the threat. Negativity attracts; positive reactions.

How does any of this makes sense?

Ask yourself "how much do I give", then wait to see how much you are appreciated.

Ask for guidance; and follow a direction.

Ask for forgiveness; and wait on a remorseful action.

Ask for advice; then listen where to apply it.

Show some act of kindness; and watch who will show up, in another direction.

Show up on time; then make a mental note of who is always walking behind.

Stay committed; then watch who is loyal for more than a season.

Sacrifice is already knowing; who will show up or not. Loyalty is for every end or New beginning stay true to who you already; are.