Soul Searching

A storm coming. I will never love again. Love predicted this contradiction. Because of the pain that causes so much heart break and tension. Demonstrated in our cold hearted mannerism.  

Love is patient, Love is Kind. Love is not arrogant & compromising in this world of broken promises that we struggle to satisfy one another in. And if we could reach the pinnacles of love; would we be happy within ourselves of what we search for of happiness and security in someone else?

Love said time is what we have on our side right now. Not what we seek of THE WANT in our control, but what WE NEED of what we refuse ourselves; the PERMISSION to life’s second chances.  Now get out of your isolated feelings and create a new beginning. Where some people will be that bridge you burned, but strong enough for u again to cross.

TOUCHE

Ladies & Gents just because we release it; does not mean we can’t lock and reload it.  I apologize upfront for my cynical thinking. But experience lead me here of; what we may have, should know or have not been taught growing up.

They say some woman think too much. They say some "Ole" girls don’t think enough. They say some females don’t give a damn. They say some people never had their ears whispered in; of what to do once you grow up into a woman or man.

Watch how we teach one another, of what we refuse to understand about each other.

Thank you gentlemen for those who are left in this generation who speak the truth first, for treating some of us like ladies, we deserve. But for the males who still remain in their puberty mindset allow them hard pipes to rest. Why, because every females cookie is not so restless. And I'm not saying we don't want it  strong armed and bent back. What I'm saying is every woman shields her own diamonds in various places. To be dug up from in between her legs and or that addictive knowledge that keep's that man coming for that buried treasure deep in her head. Now boys to men you should have been taught better to accept or disregard  what is kept on top of your mantle piece. Not placed in  container boxes of thinking. That a bad girl could ever consider settling down with a side chick position. Did I also mention Insecurities and Fears show up in all of types of men and woman; demonic intensions.

Why is it from one statement or word that it changes into a 360 degree debate; of who agreed to what. Every person is not intended to be played with.  Now work on my mind instead of hesitating with; that  sexual fantasy was all about conquering. 

I'm not down playing positions & roles. But let's be real for every move there is an intention in every players initiation. And if were looking for logic in another persons made up mind. Then maybe it's in our HUMAN NATURES of Wild Thoughts that makes us cohabitate in our own natural ways.  






TOUCHE..

 

 

 

CAMEO

Every woman has a soul, and every man knows. In every culture around the globe.

'Woman marry, Men surrender'. Who says so? Until we can answer why not every human being is married, single or lonely. Or what keeps marriages & family; in unity. 

If he or she does not appreciate your LOVE then why can't the next person propose MARRIAGE and SURRENDER to you? And if you are one of those people who don't believe in love; then what are you doing of convenience with the person you're sharing your plans with? And how do they really feel knowing your not planning a life with them?

Now what man is honest enough to admit; doing wrong and crying in the dark while lying wide awake at night with someone else lying by his side? Only he knows the real issues of his heart and what he intentionally hides. Especially to women who settle for excuses and lies. But on the other hand some men do settle down with a woman they love or manage to deal with. And some men enjoy the drama they create in their own lives because they struggle to “grow up from boys into men”. Damn I know that was cold but not a bios statement.

Now what woman will admit to giving a man more than 1 more chance, who continues to show her his boyish arrogance? And what woman can be strong enough to close her legs to his wreckless inhibitions, at his convenience? Because a woman perception is Marriage is for Love, as Men Surrender. But does it mean we always compromise in the right state of minds? If men know what is deeply penetrated in places a woman has already silently surrendered of her heart. Does it change his ways of valuing her?

See men there is not one woman on earth who does not seek companionship with a level of compromise that leaves out her confidence to please your desires as a man. Some women have lowered their standards to have a man. Some women are being played, rejected and left broken. And the Married woman have managed to be found by the man who “surrendered” from playing the mind games. But also take note of how this Married woman knows her role; just in case this man steps out of control. To the other females he will not be as quick to give you all. Of what he has no intentions to do all over again. So from a woman to another woman don't be so quick to cater to another woman's non rehabilitated situation.

Men are simple is what they say. A woman’s ego can be stroked and penetrated slowly. And once we both process we’re not that complicated to figure out. If he provides her needs. Will she then honor his wants for life? In places they both "need more time than space" to GROW, out of what has been acceptable. Only either know. 

And before we assume what my status is; a grown man said to me your talented
in many things. I agree that I am a woman who seeks to constantly grow in areas of myself that have not been explored. So therefore I will not apologize for my experiences in this life. That continue in opening my beautiful eyes.

In a world filled with LOVE & WAR, hell we created our own battlefields. And a quick access between any pair of  legs is the least of our worries in what we Surrender to. Of men & woman who get caught up, in more than one way. Of finding no value of what we seek to escape.

We must be more appreciative of the free will we possess in ourselves. To have access of what we surrender to in a world of; human  intentions. And if this does not apply to you. Then what do we lack of, in teaching one another something positive to do?

Side Piece

We  are hungry for a life we can’t afford to maintain in. Regardless of what we have, because we were never satisfied with what we had to begin with. So what will we do to have more in order to survive the inner war which no longer adds up to logic in common sense of what some of us have become. In this world of mixed generations?

I heard the truth and it said “no one really wants the reality of who I am”.

I heard a lie and it said “give into me, and you will see how we together can walk with our eyes wide shut”

This is a general statement, and whether you process it or reject it, depends on the state of mind you feel up your self-worth with.

Sometimes people believe the truth should not always be revealed to the other person. Maybe it is because it makes their lies the truth to validate what we want but in reality may be hindered to do. Or could it be men and women both settle together “in insecurities and imperfections” to possess “something” to make up one thing “the fear of losing everything”  

Life is always going to happen; no matter who and what happens.  

REBEL

We may fail one another in this life. Is what we say for different reasoning depending on our circumstances, we may not all pray and ask for forgiveness, we may not all believe in God. But we can rest assure time will change our attitudes & minds.

No man or woman can whole heartedly love one another from in between their legs. No man or woman can make common sense of hurting one another through our flesh without self-examining ourselves in our own personal actions of choices.   

I don’t know what time is going to do. I don’t ponder with what people go through. But on this ROCK in which I stand “I know that man was created from perfection” And we as people validate our SELF-perfections through our own reasoning in the flesh; instead of forgiving ourselves first.

I say to those I know if we never connect mentally, embrace physically or cross paths again. In places I have grown to let go, forgive & learn. Please remember this: I LOVE YOU MORE EVERYDAY, even when you don’t pay attention to the time we no longer have because one day I knew time was going to happen.  

THEREFORE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO QUESTION HOW I VALUE AND LOVE YOU EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF MY  LIFE; IN A WORLD OF PEOPLE THAT CHANGE  THEIR MINDS IN EVERYWAY…

 -ANGEL L
A REBEL OF HUMAN FLESH MADE IN THIS IMAGE OF PERFECTION. BUT NOT PERFECT IN THE FLESH, UTILIZED IN LIFE FOR A HIGHER PURPOSE.
  

TAKING ADVANTAGE

You are the most important person in the world to me. Can anyone agree; speaking these words to someone they committed themselves to. Or devoted their lives too. Regardless of the storms we were destined to go through. See grief and heartache are personal feelings at some point we're all sudden to endure. Therefore no one can tell us how to deal or process the both of them. If we ourselves are not prepared to deal with what we live in denial with.

We may never admit this, but we take advantage of each other everyday. Even our children show us in a self entitled way. Our families remind us of why we should feel guilty, in who we become and not remain the same person to be controlled. Our spouses neglect us through time and attention, and know I'm not talking about asking for forgiveness with gifts and roses. Associates & those good ole friends remind us who we can DEPEND ON in good and bad times. Just make sure you don't panic if they don't return a call or pick up the line. And in our personal dating or random sexual relationships we take more than advantage of who we have to chosen to deal with. Just to have a access. But if none of these scenarios are true. Then why are we finding ourselves struggling with the truth. Of what we have yet to accomplish of happiness, control  & riches. Lacking trust, communication & mutual understandings.

We've heard it loud and clear  "2017 this is a new day" and if you're not handling your business with whom you have chosen to be with. Please understand how people are "Happy Feet" to wiggle into your space. Offering what they have worked for of money, compromise and overrated sexual fantasies. Where the presence of DIGNITY & RESPECT will get you checked. For not accepting compromises in what we want in millisecond moment. Eventually you will later figure out what PEOPLE are really about. On the inside, not what you visualize to see of an outside false fantasy.Now close your mouth. It's the questions that exposes the lies. Because time is our best friend that reveal us in places we pretend.

Taking a chance is not people's biggest  fear in this life. We ALL seek the opportunity everyday  to have what we want if not getting straight to what we need. Eventually we learn together or far apart what we want; may not work out. To have what we really need before it's a dollar short, and a day late. Because of our need to work in REPETITION with different people in the same OLD WAY.

NOW LATER

NOW LATER I can make a promise to LOVE and PROTECT you for always. Just remember to every cause there is an effect of how people & situations alter any of our “life expectations”  

If only we knew what this world would turn into. From birth I tried my best with what was given. To protect your innocence in the world we now live in.

If I could know everything thing that would occur; would it still have been enough to change the directions you would take?

Today, I can only pray over you through the FAMINE, HAPPINESS, GREED, and SORROW things must change. Now that many nations of “men & woman” have become of age. To stand on their own in the event of adversity, choices made and decisions to face.  

If I could put love into someone who does not understand it or refuse to feel it in their hearts. Would you see the difference and walk away before it’s too late?

If I could even have given you more courage through every storm in this world of compromise; could you hold on knowing that I’m always there in your heart and by your side?

If I could continue teach you how to manage the sadness in your eyes; could you hold onto your peace of mind?

If I could walk away today; would you treasure the wisdom I gave?

If I was no longer around to validate your rights from wrong; could you be man or woman enough to measure out things you have yet to learn?

If I could let you go in this life; can you move on temporarily to find that one who will never leave your side? But in the meantime FIND the one to be by your side. Throughout these years that humanity can no longer hide our human TEARS and FEARS.

NOW LATER we will see what changed and changes need to occur. In our individual "Life" will sew of seeds in.

GHOST WRITER

How can we teach one another; in our selfie picks of assets and addictions advertised on unblocked context? How do we assume everything u see is a well designed plan. When nothing has been configured to the final end. 

The real grind is the work you put in. Not what you take from someone who has a real plan. Eye opener that Insurance Policy will not take affect until the recipient matures in their mindset. So in whatever happens in your life ensure it’s a necessary requirement. For the memories that will be left behind, for the final results that will still seek answers in time. 

We’re all looking for “LOYALTY” if not "SECURITY" in one another, we just need to “watch over” how & what we INVEST into each other. The truth requires 80% of our eyeballed attention. But a lie only requires 20 minutes of  OUR time to not research down the line. Now this may not apply to all of us. But there has to be a good explanation to why people are falling by the wayside. 

A male said "a female is not required to think with her brain" if she thinks her body is an asset to get her anyone or thing.

A female said "if I can get a man to invest in his desires" then who can be blamed for playing mind games?

A established person can manage what they have. But with one managed paycheck, everybody grows insane & mad. A person with a vision has many plans; but side tracked ahead is a storm coming. A go-getter is loyal to the game; but who will remain. And a talker does more dreaming than when they are asleep; be cautious of misery that invites company. We can't help who we fall for and love. We can encourage and show one another how to go do better.

A convention being held open remarks with; if you are not here today it’s unfortunate of what you will see coming, but won’t believe.  

A hungry child visited a house with a family who shared; from  a diverse environment. Thank God for the GOOD SAMARITAN. The next day that person was on national television. With a plan to ensure no child is left unfed.

A community establishment draws attention. High rises drive in new residence. But not every customer and resident is prepared to invest with what does not look the same as them. But walks, talks & breathe like them.

In this corporate world we are guilty in separating ourselves. From the superiors and the team members across the room and downstairs. But not every title has to be socially and  education connected of their genuine contributing talents.  Therefore in the make-up of wealth & success, sometimes worker bees go uncompensated.   

We don’t have to pretend “who is not struggling” in something? Where the wrong colors bend the rules but never limit your mindset in a color box of thinking tools. We we’re all adapted to a life “with” or “without” some influence or instructions, leaving us to make our own choices in either right or wrong directions.

See how times fly in the laughter, pressure and pain. And who said that confusion does not exist; in watching mommy and another girl kiss. As daddy is being swung around the world giggling like a small child? A Boss B!#tch and acting in Beast mode aim for stacks & bricks. Better watch out of non-interference in it; due to over or under confidence. People end up lifeless in moments other see priceless. Of the real representatives we hide behind of religion, envy, greed, hate and smiles. And a million is much appreciated if wisely invested. But not all in beauty, attitudes and arrogance. Which will kill the innocence of a mindset. In exchange for imprisonment of not paying IRS taxes. So what comes next in this cold world of "what I got to do" to survive off another until I am stable enough to fly? From a quit development plan or slick conversation with little or no patience? With a physical upgrade in beauty and sex appeal, were no brains are necessary to seal the deal. We must read the fine print in what we first value that will depreciate. As generations are departing every day; wisdom is sleeping itself away. And sometimes the reason is human acts of pure insanity or father time just made a call on your line. As a new breed is entering through birth canals  some babies will be left behind in this cold world. Because of a sexual tensions in a moment of “push, push pound” positions.

Rents are due around the entire world; and yet some of us can't figure out how to live with one another by implementing plans to maintain our key roles and positions Raw land is being uncovered for profit. All that was free is now a high alert necessity. Connected to plots of conspiracy; managed by usage of bodies. Where all occupants are not prepared to pay with men on colored paper called money. To alter your mind in accepting the “man or woman” power over your cycled time. Of taxes that silently creep from paycheck, child support payments to circulate outside investments of shifting hands around tables of plans. For services and demand. Who would have known healthcare insurance will be the final card played in the plan.

Now who is confused about what we are under submission too?

I started out with many on my journey at a young age, most did. I experienced more than enough of hard times; some of us lived it surrounding poverty & death. I understand how to process the madness; some know how other people caused it. And one day respect taught me the GAME. And for someone who is living in redundancy of what was meant to be sold, not told of what we hear, touch, smell, see and taste of our five senses of what is being played.  

See how it make sense. So what have we read in the memoirs of Angel L; everything you have not seen. But in reality every movement that is being made throughout History.

HAPPY FACE

There is not one thing that has NOT happened under the sun; to any living human man or woman. And as long as we live, we will deal with life changes.

How are you feeling today? Has life been good to you in anyway? And if know one has called, stop bye or said an encouraging word remember this; no matter when we see things one way in our LIFE and the pressures become to heavy to bare at a time. Take 1 moment to regroup "because there is someone" in your season that will come through for you.

The reasoning to why this has to happen is; for every season there is a purpose under the heaven. And it does require for you to be a believer or not. The person who will come for you is the GOOD SAMARITAN planted in your season where you gave up on believing.

Someday's this body will ache will pain; and it does not matter who we are in age.

One day we will deal with DEATH; father time has no appointment.
.
Someday's people will say things that are not relevant; don't eat up your time focusing on the "why".

One day love will disappoint us all; it's natural for our growth. Let the healing run its course.

Someday's our children and significant others will run low on patience; turn the volume down eventually they will notice there is not one sound.

One day the money will be low and the material things will not be as exciting anymore; in this moment understand why we were to save for rainy day's.

Someday it will seem off course; manage what you can and allow the rest to work in GOD's or man's self purposed plan. Eventually time will make things right before the day turns into night.

One day we turn to pages that no longer have purpose. We will search for wisdom here on earth. We will seek answers in one another. It's so important you love yourself first, and not waiting to see who will put you

Someday's we won't understand why people do you wrong; somehow or another life will teach us, eventually we will need each other.

One day medicine will make us more aware; of the suffering we seek to cure needed our attention in what we tend to miss of enjoying more love and laughter while we still have time to do it.

Someday we shall discover; real treasures in one another.

U + ME

In starting over in a new relationship it's not impossible for a person to commit in supporting with love in properly raising the kids, from a previous relationship. Now there may be challenges in the beginning of it. Just remember we all come with some baggage. 

Therefore some people who will say “they prefer no kids”. Good luck with that. Just pray this person is not selfish. Then there are those people who will say the children struggle from resentment of a missing paternal parent. Some people will attempt to buy the child or children’s respect. Some parent may be bitter because the relationship did not work. Some people will end up with other people who cannot bare kids, so they make a pack to in pregnate the surrogate. Some people will come straight in with tough love. And put in work. And sometimes they may or not be appreciated in worth. 

Regardless of what your relationship status is or if you’re looking to be involved with other people with kids. The reality is we’re all trying to figure out what works and fits in this puzzle call life.  

So why do we write off our happiness? If we can't stay together and make it work then we have to decide whether it’s time to move forward and let go. Before letting our feelings get to low.

Confusion stems from not knowing what is changing in our lives. Letting go means we have to start on a new chapter. Learning is a part of the process of what is dormant in the genetics; that already existed in which we struggle to understand in one another's head & actions. Because once we cohabitate in more than many ways; we will create bonds then later learn who we are, then become.  

If a man work’s to support his responsibilities; is he wrong to rationalize if that woman is not standing up right by his side, because some men and woman are committed even when time test their patience.  

If a child see's his father or mother with another woman or man? What affect does it carry through their life until they are no longer children?

If a child has witnessed mental or physical abuse; what will happen if they have not worked on themselves?

If a person has experienced infidelity; how do we immediately expect them to respect change?

If a person has been hurt and rejected; how can we say they have issues. Without admitting our own contributions?

Once you get passed the sting of disappointment or moving on. Take a moment to recap what could of been better or worse in that relationship. Then allow yourself permission to process what we don't take accountability for in ourselves. 

FINDING MYSELF

A family will have and make due in their differences. No matter whose your's is. We all have to mature in our own skin to respect one another in our choices. And when we choose to do things in our own way people do show distress in processing our change.

One thing I've noticed in any family. Is the influence we have over one another; good or bad. So therefore we can't possibly please one another enough; no matter what we attempt to do. Or prove "I do love, need and respect you". Because at the end of the day no matter what life sends our way; we still seek that protection and love from our family. And if you are disconnected from your family tree, then it's who you consider to be their in place of your blood line family.

People have lost relationships due to family influence. And in some cases the partition may have been for that person's well being and interest. Because family know who their love one really is. But not who they become in their own private relationships.Or in search of themselves to find or figure out what their own happiness should be about.

How is it we manage to connect with people and create a strong bond or extended family? Such as a new significant other, a baby daddy or baby momma, friends who become important in our lives. The fact is that we cannot deny the bonds we make then seek of;  companionship, protection, love and mutual understandings. But when we no longer can agree to disagree. Things and people change in reasoning. And what I mean is you're no longer granted permission to be your own person with a purpose and direction. Why, because of INFLUENCE that re-directs our focus.

I hear people say it everyday; I love my family but sometimes at a distance that is required to keep us in coordination.

I meet widows that are men and woman. They do get lonely and need that lingering touch and attention. So family comforts them the best they know how by safeguarding their lonely vulnerable hearts. Just be careful to not make it about yourself's. Are one day you will see they were just holding on hoping one day you would finally be happy.

I hear young people say "they don't get it bro", but what has not been done or heard under the son in the world we live in.

I hear a man tell a woman can you help me. The woman says you never come through when I need you. The man then said I can get some help, but I thought I could ask you first. But maybe its because the two woman he has really don't serve up to a full purpose.

I met a young woman who had an arranged marriage. Her family chose the man she will love and care for.

I met a woman who said this man I reside with for the past 11 years has to make a change, The problem is this man is still married with kids, And a girlfriend who unfortunately passed away last year.

I met a man with a plan. He is financially set. The story is he has 3 kids by 2 different woman. In which he has no problem with taking care of them. But any woman that comes into his life will take a seat until its her time.

I met single woman and men who said "I've got great friends" who I call on for things. But what they had to say where things you would not believe.

We all know family is the makeup in who we are, not what we become. And the purpose for the scenarios were to see how Influence and people make decisions and connections.

We believe we are strong, so we fight to accept the areas in which we are weak, We hurt when our efforts are not enough. We fear of being abandoned. We grow angry in our disappointments.We criticize what we reject. We rationalize in facing our own situations. We continue to create new relationships but we never deal with ourselves in a space we forgive.