Angel L "So Gone"

I've embellished many successes and intimate moments in my life. I've dealt with many hardships. I've healed from a broken heart and disappointment with time. I've learned to release and let go of what is not within my CONTROL.
 

I've learned if you take on leadership in any situation to always listen & be patient. Why, because there will be challenges not limited to religion in your life, where some religious people are destined to prove you're not strong enough to spiritually fight.
 

So when I look back over my life I can identify with dysfunction & logic, dignity & courage, wisdom & confidence and mistakes and choices. When I think about people whom I have allowed into my space; some lied, some stayed fake and others showed their ass before slithering away. And in return a valuable lesson is what I have learned; no matter what age you are there will be times you will walk alone until a sincere hearted person comes along.

Sometimes being responsible comes with many burdens. Just like being the eldest or the youngest come with high expectations of understanding nonsense but what maybe of another person’s logic. But when you see the brokenness in a parent, child or guardian's life there is something that must be corrected, regardless of who feels REJECTED, because we can't all live healthy lives and continue to stay BROKEN inside.
 

When I think about how people pretended to have my best interest not limited to strangers but family, associates and friends who showed their true face when I decided to control my space and walk out on FAITH. To travel and blog about Humanity or simply become "fed up" with living a life of INSANITY.
 

When I think about struggling financially but not giving into the Worldly ways is when those few friends wait arrogantly just to find a reason to deny me. And to give some clarity some people will help you just to see what return they can get out of you. Then we wonder why situations and people do not change, where we choose to remain the same.
 

When I think about being a single mom from the day my son was born. I was destined to see him succeed find himself build a relationship with God before anyone else. I trained my seed to mentally fight and in his father’s gene he inherited concrete knowledge of the worldly politics of being a young man. Who had no choice but to graduate with a plan.. I encouraged work but just enough to keep him responsible and focus to walk across that stage; no drugs, no warrants and thank God no case. I planned his course in different states to travel and select a college plan is when he settled down and progressed in becoming his own man. Until one day he realized mom was no longer holding his hand, is when he ventured into the friends and the worlds plan. Thank God for grace & mercy in planting good seeds, kept my house, body and life disciplined, spiritual and clean. So whatever life brings his way I can rest assure the God I've always served will protect & guide him the rest of the way.
 

I remember seeing an old friend who I met years ago in New Orleans, a perfect gentleman. Until years grew us apart is when we both realized in one night the things we did in our youth one of us is still trying to hold onto. Unfortunately even if the love is deep time is not on my side to reverse back to my old life.
 

I remember having tons of girlfriends in my life traveling was my past time. Is when I realized some women share common interest, some disclose jealously and the rest, unnecessary competition.

I remember in my twenties I met a slight mature man. And what I mean was his "diligent nature and conversation" but what my body ignored in my mind, I shyly said yes to his mission of advances. But deep in his eyes I knew I would never be his wife. I remember counting as the years went bye and one day I let go of this girlish pain.  Then came a new connection but excluded the sex for genuine friendship. And this time in this Man's eyes he was missing something inside but it was not a settled down wife. I know the question is then why? And the answer is in my life lessons what I've learned is no matter what stage and age were in a Man's choices is where his heart is. Regardless of a woman's commitment just always listen to hear whether he say's and actually does it "I see myself building a life with you" forever and always. Eventually one man married and both celebrated births to carry on their legacy, something I had no regrets to relive what was already given to a man in my early twenties. Sometimes our choices are small reminders of why things happen for a reason. And although these women share giggles today these two men carry their truth of knowing; I will forever be engraved in their life journey.
 

I've watched people struggle to deal with themselves because of attempting to fix something or someone else.
 

So the moral to this passage is the next time God opens up a window in your life do not wait on another person’s delay. Simply pursue your own Destiny.